BEFORE YOU ASSUME: HERE ARE 5 THINGS SOCIETY GETS WRONG ABOUT DISABILITY

Article by Nadia Muthoni

He had learned to read the room before the room could read him.

At the car park, people always stared a second too long. Some tried to hide it. Others didn’t. The crutches gave it away before he even spoke, metal against pavement, a rhythm that made strangers quietly rearrange their expectations.

“Need help?” someone would ask, already reaching for the car door.

He would smile politely. “I’ve got it.”

What they didn’t see was what happened next.

He folded the crutches with ease, slid into the driver’s seat, and reached down, not for pedals, but for a set of hand controls installed beneath the steering wheel. Must be nice !A quick adjustment. A smooth ignition. And just like that, the car came alive under his command.

The same people who had pitied him seconds earlier now watched in stunned silence.

Because somewhere in their minds, the story had already been written: one leg equals limitation.

They had not paused to consider a different truth, that technology evolves, that adaptation exists, that independence does not always look the way we expect it to. Now that’s what we mean when we talk about inclusion in all spaces. Technology must and should influence this change.

A few days later, in a classroom across town, another version of the same misunderstanding unfolded.

He sat at the back, quiet, avoiding eye contact. When the teacher asked questions, his answers came slowly, sometimes tangled, sometimes unfinished. A few classmates exchanged glances. One whispered, “He doesn’t get it.”

By midterm, the label had stuck: struggling, slow, not capable.

Then came presentation day.

When it was his turn, he walked to the front, nervous, yes, but prepared. He plugged in his tablet, opened a visual presentation filled with diagrams, voice notes, and short videos he had recorded to explain his ideas. As he spoke, something shifted. His thinking was clear, layered, and insightful. The class leaned in.

What they hadn’t known was that he had a learning disability that affected how he processed and expressed information, but not how deeply he understood it.

Once again, assumption had rushed in where curiosity should have paused.

These moments are not rare. They reflect a deeper pattern in how society misunderstands disability. We often catch ourselves already judging this people in the spaces we are in and it’s almost like we are looking to see what they are capable of We often react before we reflect. We define before we understand.

That said ,

HERE ARE 5 THINGS SOCIETY GETS WRONG ABOUT DISABILITY

1. Disability does not equal total dependence

There’s a common assumption that people with disabilities cannot live independently,work, or build careers. But independence is not a one-size-fits-all concept. With the right tools, environments, and support systems, many people with disabilities live full, self-directed lives, working, creating, leading, and contributing in meaningful ways. The real barrier is often not the disability itself, but inaccessible systems and limiting
beliefs.

2. Disabled people are not “less capable” of love or relationships

Another quiet but harmful myth is that people with disabilities are asexual, incapable
of intimacy, or unfit for relationships and family life. This erases a fundamental part of
being human. People with disabilities form deep, healthy relationships, fall in love,
build families, and experience connection just like anyone else. Denying this reality is
not just incorrect, it is dehumanizing.

3. They are not your inspiration, or your tragedy

Society tends to swing between two extremes: portraying disabled people as
“inspirational” for doing ordinary things, or as objects of pity. Both narratives miss the
point. A person using a wheelchair going to work is not automatically inspirational
and their life is not inherently tragic. They are simply living. Reducing people to these
labels strips away their individuality and complexity.

4. Not all disabilities are visible

If someone doesn’t “look disabled,” they are often not believed. Conditions like
chronic illness, mental health disorders, learning disabilities, and neurological
differences can be invisible, but very real. Dismissing someone’s experience
because it doesn’t fit a visible stereotype creates further exclusion and discourages
people from seeking support.

5. Disabled people can and do live joyful, meaningful lives

Perhaps the most damaging misconception is that disability equals a life of limitation,
sadness, or unfulfilled dreams. In reality, people with disabilities travel, fall in love,
pursue passions, build careers, and experience joy in countless ways. Their lives are
not defined solely by their challenges, but by their humanity.

The truth is, disability does not diminish a person’s worth, potential, or ability to live
fully. What limits people most is not always their condition, but the assumptions
placed on them before they even get the chance to show who they are.
Maybe the shift begins with something simple:
pausing before we assume,
asking instead of deciding,
and allowing people to define themselves, on their own terms.